An unremarked jetty

I thought I would paint this the week before I did, but I didn't. Too much phaffing around, hanging up the washing, just doing a bit more dewi lingo meant that when the time came, I told myself, I was late. I hadn't even prepared the image to paint, had rejected the one appearing below, even started to think about another.

A week later, I had thought about the view, the light, the ice cream I was licking at the time, and thought, yes, I've got to have a go. The night before, I took screenshots from some film I'd taken. I set up in good time, had a drink of lemon and ginger on the go, and what..? I needed 5 minutes peace before I started. So, I closed my eyes, trying to think of nothing. It wasn't entirely possible. I peeked at the image on my tablet. I'd been considering coeruleum blue for the base all along. You had to with all that sky and sea! But, during the five minutes, I somehow recognised that the base had to be sandy yellow. And I'm so glad. The painting is completely different because of it.

Over the week in between, I'd started to tell myself that maybe, I wouldn't paint anymore, that I'd done my last painting. That was okay, I heard myself saying. There's other things you can do. And you're not really very good at it, are you? That last question made me smile. Who says what good is, after all? I thought I probably would paint again, not every week certainly, but why? Because I love it. Try a little bit of 'love for self'...it works!

You're painting Monday, a little voice said over the weekend! Am I? Oh, okay.

I'd only been painting for an hour. I had laid down the rhythms of the water. If I were to do it again, I would reverse the flow of the brush lines, alternating waves of blue and green with hints of (titanium) white. I decided to make my green from blue and yellow, so that the results would be variable, dependent on how much I picked up on the brush. Now, it was mid-day. Too early for lunch? No, I don't think so. And it would give an underlayer time to dry, so I could add more stuff later. I had plans, you see, multi-layered plans. So, I placed a big plastic bowl over the palette and went and had my lunch. Get me!! Get me!!!

The sandy pink was showing through the water. Was that a good thing? I could think about that over lunch too. And, if necessary, I could paint it out. I decided to leave it in, and see what happened. I noticed my brush strokes for the water were linear, angular. I'd never done that before. Curious, what effect would this have? I could always paint over.

I blocked in the sky, knowing I would come back for billowing white-ish clouds filling the sky. It looks quite good doesn't it. Some friends have liked one of more of the progress shots as much as the finished painting, it seems! In went the landscape, using a cloth. This didn't work so welll and I turned to a round brush. I was happier with this and finished off with the cloth. I painted in the sandy foreshore, using titanium white, lemon yellow and unbleached titanium. I need a steadier hand and more confidence with my brushstrokes. Still, it works for me.

Would I put in the jetty? This concrete structure stood out in the photographs, but I wasn't sure. It looked good without it. I stood back a number of times during to see how it was working. After one of these, the jetty went in, less impactful in size than in the photo, but making an eye-catching detail in the painting. Around it, I placed rocks, stones with reflections of light shining on them. The clouds turned out okay. They are not fluffy. So, I need to find out how to do these kinds of clouds better. They're not easy. I'm quite happy about that.

Was I right to leave the sandy pink in? I think so. The painting shows the brilliant light of that day, a glorious day in May. After four hours, I decided that was enough. No, a little more here... Really, stop! Stop!! And something else, I felt, had also stopped. I didn't feel like an impostor, anymore. I didn't feel I needed the 'crutch' of teaching, of encouraging others to try something they wanted to (see About me on the website). This was a genuine concern, allowing me to paint and share my work. If can give this a go, so can you! I felt this no longer my main purpose. While I didn't feel an 'artist', I did feel like someone, who was capable of becoming an artist. I have no urge to please anyone or to seek compliments or encouragement, welcome though these are.

I even asked a 'proper' artist I know what they thought of the painting. They came back with 'love it' emojis. They were either afraid of hurting my feelings or didn't have time just then. But I wanted some feedback. I welcomed the criticism. I noticed the change in me, even asking the question. It might make me better. So, as for these commentaries about my paintings, they make the occasional appearance, but that's it! Time to stop thinking I can influence people. I don't kid anyone. What I really want to do is paint. Among other things, I am becoming a painter, and it feels good.